The Full Hot Orator (wickedflea) wrote,
The Full Hot Orator

I woke myself up this morning by turning my head violently to the side and snapping, "Your fucking shoes are in my back!" I'd been dreaming that I was in a movie theater and some lady wouldn't take her feet off the back of my seat. Scared the shit out of Lonzie.

Speaking of sleep, it was recently brought to my attention that I snore. This bothers me. Many times when I've had to share a hotel room with my dad, I've wanted to choke the shit out of him because he was rocking the house with his snoring--and now I'm doing it? My head has betrayed me.

Snore. What a scrange-looking word. SNORE. Sn- words are the best. Snake. Snipe. Snark. Snore. Snuff. Snout. Snapper. Good words all.

Get this--I'm actually looking forward to the Miss America pageant tonight. I hate pageants like poison, but I actually know Miss Connecticut, and she's a very cool chick. Heidi's hip enough to have told me at least twice that KISS's tune "Mainline" is about anal sex. How many beauty queens would know such a thing about an obscure song from KISS's second album? She has a pretty compelling story, too. I hope she wins like a motherfucker.

Oh, and check it out--the pageant is on CMT, and it's hosted by that A.C. Slater dude. Miss America's slippin', yo. At least it's not Screech, though.

My walls at work are boring. I wonder if I could get Neck Face to paint a mural for me.

So Van Halen is getting back together with David Lee Roth. Big whoop. I always take Roth's side over Hagar, but the truth is that I never gave two shits about Van Halen. I liked 1984 and a few other earlier songs, but in general I didn't care for them, and I blamed them for spawning all the terrible hair bands that followed them. Anyway, I bet this tour is gonna totally blow. I heard Eddie was drunk onstage throughout their last tour, and Roth--well, have you SEEN him lately?!? Gah.

So yeah. I'm not in much of a mood to start working this week. Obvious much?
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