Only the venerable dob, however, knew that the correct answer to "Who is the man comin' down yo block?" is "It's me, you see, with the funk in my walk."
Every once in a while, I'll answer the phone and hear a recording that says, "I have an important call for you, but all of our operators are busy. Please stay on the line, and . . ." Has anyone in the history of creation ever actually stayed on the line for one of those?
This work thing still ain't happening. I want another vacation.
My mom told me a hilarious story when I was home. She hired a guy to do some work on their deck and in the yard a while back. She paid him part of the money up front, and he did part of the job, but he never came back to finish, and he was giving her the runaround. This started around Thanksgiving, and it got to be the week before Christmas and he still hadn't finished. So she Mapquested his address one day, and she and John went to his house. They talked to the wife, who helps him on these jobs, and she said that she would go to where he was working that day and tell him to finish. So she did--and Mom and John followed her out there and watched as she talked to him. No telling what they thought Mom and John were planning on doing. The part that really made me laugh is that John, not knowing what he might be getting into, had brought a hammer and some sort of weed puller--one of those forked garden tools. (But when Mom first told me the story, I thought she meant that he'd brought a Weed Eater. I was rolling.) Thankfully, no shit went down, and the hammer and the weed puller stayed underneath the car seat.
Another funny part is that my mom told the guy she was going to make his life miserable until he finished the job--meaning that she would keep hounding him, not that she would inflict injury upon him. But later the wife called and said: "I don't appreciate you threatenin' my old man. How would you feel if somebody threatened your old man?" Too funny. If I ever have an old lady that starts calling me her old man, I'm gittin' the hell out, yessirree.