Anyway, tonight I was in Publix. I was walking through the little discount section they have right near the front of the store, and there's this lady next to me with two toddlers in her cart. Somehow I knew she was one of Them. One of her kids was flipping the fuck out, gnashing her teeth and shaking her fists like she'd been wronged by the world and she wanted revenge. And her mom said: "Oh, Sophia, I'm sorry you feel that way! But look! Look at what they have here! They have all kinds of stuff . . . they have Hamburger Helper, and . . ."
Dude. I try not to laff at people in public, especially when I don't even know them, but something about that just hit me right in the funny place. Lady's trying to comfort her kid with the sight of Hamburger Helper boxes! I guffawed right there, oh yes I did.
Hell, though--what do I know? If I had a screaming three-year-old, I'd probably be trying everything I could, too. "LOOK, Wackel! PORK RINDS! CHEAP WINE, Wackel! Please stop crying . . ."