1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Cable, because it's ricockulously expensive and I don't even watch it that much--but I don't want to be without it. I hate that.
2. Favorite Place to eat a romantic Dinner?
Whatever's good w/ me.
3. Last time you Puked from Drinking?
4. When is the last time you got drunk and woke up in a strange place?
I think it was 1990--I woke up in Apt. 4C instead of 4B. I still don't know how I got in there. I'm just glad I didn't wake the poor Thai students who lived in that apartment.
5. Name of your First Grade Teacher?
6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
First a baseball player, and then a rock star. How ordinary. Thank dog I was able to achieve both those dreams!
8.How many colleges did you attend before you settled?
Two, but I ended up at the one I started at, if that makes any sense.
9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
Because I wanted to look presentable cuz I had lunch w/ my moms on her way through town.
10. Gas Prices! First Thought?
11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you?
I dunno. I can find pros and cons to just about anywhere.
12. First Thought when the alarm went off this morning?
13. Last thought before falling asleep last night?
"I hope Lonzie doesn't jump me in my sleep."
14. Favorite style of underwear?
Boxers. Briefs are for chirren.
15. Favorite style of underwear for the opp. sex?
16. What Errand/Chore do you despise?
Laundry, apparently. I did about forty loads last night, and I'm still not done.
17. If you didn’t have to work would you?
Probably not--not at a Job job, anyway. Well, I would if I could own my own bookstore or something. That'd be hip.
18. Sex or Sleep?
Sex. Sleep is for pussies.
19. Your Favorite Cartoon Character?
If you mean an animated character (as opposed to one from a comic strip) , I guess it'd be Ren.
20. Favorite non sexual thing to do at night with a girl/boy?
I like to cook and chill, just like $240 worth of pudding, baby.
21. A secret that you wouldn’t mind everyone knowing?
Is there such a thing? Hmmm. OK, it was me who broke the cafeteria window during the rock fight in the fifth grade. I think it was, anyway. How can you be sure in a rock fight?
22. What was your First Car?
1978 Dodge Omni. Hatchback in effect.
23. Your Best Your Mamma Joke?
It's "yo mama." And there's one on some Ice-T record that always makes me laff even though I don't understand it: "Yo mama got two feet growin' out her titties. Bitch fell down and kept runnin'.
24. Your Favorite Lunch Meat?
I dig the pastrami, although I hardly ever eat it.
25. What do you get every time you go into a WAHWAH?
Who? I seriously have no idea what that is.
26. Beach Or Shore?
WTF is the difference? Oh, do you mean which do I say? Beach.
27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at 20?
I wouldn't say that. It just ain't for everybody.
28. Who do you stalk on myspace?
29. Favorite Guilty Pleasure?
Watching sports, I guess.
30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
Cinderella, this awesome soft-porn musical from the '70s where an entire village is in search of the title character's snappin' pussy. Look for it on Cinemax. The dude who plays the methadone clinic guy in Sid & Nancy plays the fairy godmother.
31. What's your drink?
Coke. I need to get off it and back on coffee.
32. Cowboys or Indians?
33. Cops or Robbers?
34. Do you cheer for the bad guys?
35. What Hollywood Star do you think resembles you best?
People tell me Andy Richter and John C. Reilly. Whatever. :P
36. If you had to pick one which cast member of Lost would you be?
I have only the vaguest notion of what that show is.
37. What do you want when you are sick?
38. Who from High School would you like to run into?
39. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
Some empty frequency to play my mp3 player on.
41. Stiffler or Oz?
Stiffler, I guess. That guy was flicktarded.
42. Norm or Cliff?
Norm. Cliff annoyed me.
43. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?
Please. The Simpsons.
44. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Dating yer mother.
45. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
Nobody does, so yes.
46. If you could get away with it who would you kill?
Ugh, I probably couldn't.
47. What Famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Crispin Hellion Glover.
48. What famous person would you like to sleep with?
49. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Yap. Kitchen fire.
50. Last book you read for real?
The Great Deluge by Douglas Brinkley. I don't remember the last book I read not for real.
51. Do you have a teddy bear?
Not that I can think of. I used to have a stuffed mouse named George, though.
52. Strangest place you have ever had sex?
Nowhere very strange. How white-bread of me.
53. Strangest place you have ever wanted to have sex?
In the mouth.
54. How many times a day do you text?
Eight or ten, I guess. Maybe not that many. I get a lot more than I send.
55. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
Relationship, as I just changed jobs.
56. Do you go to church?
None. My folks didn't raise me right.
57. Pencil or Pen?
I used to prefer pencils all the way, but I seem to always use pens now.
58. Describe your favorite day?
I think it would look something like this:
"Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk."--Jack Handey