Well, my idea of being a LiveJournal regular a year or so ago obviously didn't happen. Oh well.

I'm in the midst of Carnivirium: Carnival-induced delirium. We're in the wee hours of Fat Tuesday, with the Houmas parade beginning in a few hours. It's been a great Mardi Gras season so far--no rain to speak of, at least not for me, and I'm getting some fantastic shots. Shots that, combined with other stuff that I've done in my 5+ years in Houma, could probably make up a portfolio that could get me a good job at a bigger, better paper. I think I've come into my own as a photographer. But the thing is . . . I kinda don't want to leave. 

I like it here. Houma (sounds like home) . . . feels like home. Which is a weird feeling. I'm still a damn old hermit, but I know people here. I have friends, even if I only see them when I'm working. People know me, are glad to see me, and appreciate me. And I could see myself staying here, settling, buying a house (which I got cold feet on a year or so, but I'm starting to look around a bit again), actually spending time with these people when I'm NOT working.

But I'm feeling kinda stuck, too. I don't get paid enough for what I do, and I'm limited in what I can do, and my publisher is a chump-ass bean-counter fuckbrain disguised as a hipster big-thinker. And I'd like to do bigger and better things. So probably my best bet is to try to work some connections in New Orleans and get a gig there. I do love New Orleans. But it has its downsides, too--I've had more than one friend move to New Orleans for a while and soon leave saying it's just too hard to live there. But I kinda think I'd like to give it a try. I dunno. I'm weighing whether it's better to live on the bayou and hop over to New Orleans every so often to enjoy the city, or to live in New Orleans and hop over to enjoy the bayou every so often. 

And then there's the whole wanderlust thing, too. I think about moving out to the Pacific Northwest or to Austin, too. I know lots of good folks in those areas, and I know I'd like them, but they're so goddamn expensive. And there's value in staying put, sometimes. So there's that. And that home thing.

I should sleep before the parade, I suppose. Then there's Ash Wednesday and Valentine's stuff tomorrow, and then I'm off to close on my dad's house--which is a whole other book.

Carnivirium.

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